Dynasty Typewriter is proud to be the only theater in the Western Hemisphere with an official plumbassador™, Sludgy. Sludgy the bear safeguards our historic building’s precious pipes and encourages proper bathroom etiquette in all situations. We’re THRILLED to offer Sludgy’s Shignature Shit Kit: basically a first aid-style kit for bathrooms and bathroom adjacent emergencies. This sleek box is loaded with paw-selected necessities to elevate your eliminations, including:
A beautifully designed brochure of Magnificent ShitLit for your reading pleasure.
Sludgy’s Shingature ASS-OFF hand sanitizer.
A tube of porta-wipes!
Travel-sized Poo-Pourri
A Sludgy sticker!
Incense matches!
A single prune!
Woodchips in case you need to bury your waste!
A poop bag… in case you need one.
With an estimated value of $10023 it’s a STEAL at $35!The perfect gift for anyone who ever has to eliminate waste from their body! Especially:
Dads!
Moms!
The blushing bride-to-be!
Flower girls!
Best men!
Rich people/ titans of industry who have too much shit and you can’t afford to buy them something they’d actually pick out, so instead you offer them this DISCOVERY!
Pedestrians!
Bicycle enthusiasts!
Bear lovers.
And MORE!
Who will YOU give your first Shit Kit to?